dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
