Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
