I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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