i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
