Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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