I wish my penis had an off switch
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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