I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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