god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
