I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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