Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
