If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
