dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
