i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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