He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
