Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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