Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
