And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
