Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
