I look better un-naked...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
