In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
