I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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