Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize