Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
