I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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