Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
