I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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