It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
