he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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