ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
