Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think my moral compass just broke
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