How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
