Your tits are I can't wait for
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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