She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
