1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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