Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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