hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
