I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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