i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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