So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
