So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
