i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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