arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
