Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She said her name was "party"
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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