so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
