If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize