Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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