I understand Curling. That high.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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