so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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