hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
