I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
