Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
