Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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