I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
