wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
