You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
