I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
