Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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