i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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