I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
