so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
