He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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