I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
