...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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