exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize