She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
