You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
