Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
