Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
