there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
