It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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