you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
