dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
