# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
