One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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