guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
