I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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