I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize